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what a crazy random happenstance
Because jcd1013 wanted to see it:

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That's at London Film and Comic Con 2007. Like I said, Milo Ventimiglia really is tiny. And they were there for Heroes, I think, which is why Adrian Pasdar is in the picture. Who is also not a giant, like, he totally looks taller on TV? I mean, I'm 1.72m which is like . . . 5'8"-ish according to Google? Just to give you an idea. BUT ANYWAY from a less height-obsessed perspective, yes, I have photographic evidence that I did indeed meet Jess from Gilmore Girls. \o/ (Also, I totally forgot that I used to wear contacts nine years ago. Huh.)

Ugh I want to go to another convention. That one was so much fun, I can't believe that was almost a decade ago? We also saw Nana Visitor and hung out with the Wraith Queen from Stargate Atlantis! Ahh, yes. Good times! :)
Current Mood: amusedamused
what a crazy random happenstance
18 June 2016 @ 10:51 am
It's just. What a week. I just - I just need to talk about it for a second, okay? About last weekend. About Orlando. About this thing that happened half a planet away to people I've never met. Because I haven't talked about it yet, and it's been almost an entire week, and I need to go *somewhere* with my feelings. So, I'm very sorry that I'm putting them out here, I would rather talk to a friend about all of this, but there isn't anyone.

Please don't tell me there's no reason to react to it so strongly, please don't tell me that I didn't even know them, please don't tell me that my shock and my grief is an overreaction. That's all I've heard all week, if I've heard anything at all. Because my online friends have retreated to their real life communities, and my real life community doesn't understand and doesn't want to talk. I've reached out to a few people. I've heard nothing back. But I do need to talk. I do feel grief and I do feel shock, and I do need to process it somehow. So. You don't need to respond if you don't want to. I can talk to myself here. But I do need to get it off my chest.

Because it fucked me up. It did. I feel . . . hell, it's been almost a week and I have no words, even now. Grief is one feeling I can identify, but there's more. And this is something I have tried to explain to straight people in my life, who insist it's a human tragedy more than one that belongs to the LGBTQ+ community. And. Yeah. It *is* a human tragedy. I'm not denying it. But. Do you understand why it's our community that's been hit so hard by it? Do you understand. What that feels like. To hear the news of a huge group of people being killed. Being specifically targeted and slaughtered because of their identity. An identity you share with them? Do you understand that? Do you understand what it feels like, to see that kind of hate in the world, targeted at something that you and your friends are too?

And I can't stop thinking about them. I *know* I didn't know them. But it doesn't matter. They were in this place that was supposed to be a safe space. And it was taken from them. And that's . . . all of it is so *fucking* unfair. We create our spaces because we're not welcome in yours and then some asshole invades them and starts killing people. And I. I can't stop crying. Even now. I can't. Some of them might not even have been out to their families. ALL of them had friends and families, people who loved them, people who will never see them again now, because they were killed. Slaughtered. For who they fall in love with.

I don't get on a good day why so many people have a problem with it. But to hear this, to have to live in a world where some of us get shot like cattle just because of who we love . . . I cannot wrap my head around it. I know I didn't know them. But in this huge world of differences, we shared something that put us in a community, and I mourn them.

I'm just. Feeling really fucked up about this. And I want, I just want people to acknowledge the fact that it was a hate crime against LGBTQ+ people. I want you to think of the people who had their entire lives ahead of them, I want you to think of the people who did know them and I want you to think about *why* they lost them.

And I want everyone who has a hard time with this, whether you've been out forever or just figuring out who you are, whether you are LGBTQ+ or just a person living in the world and feeling affected by this, I want you to know that your shock and your sadness and your fear and anger and grief is valid.

Many people have had a hard week. Many people are feeling this sense of shock and grief. So please. If there is someone in your life who you think might be struggling with this, please reach out to them? I wish I'd had someone to talk to this week. Talking helps. We can't just carry this around with us. So please, please. Reach out to someone you think might be struggling. And if you need someone to talk to yourself, I'm here. Okay? Please don't hesitate to contact me.

Thanks for listening. <3
Current Mood: tiredtired
what a crazy random happenstance
13 June 2016 @ 08:27 pm
I just feel the need to leave *hugs* here. Big queer hugs, and the hope that maybe one day all our differences will do is make us eager to learn from each other. What a beautiful world that would be.

I hope you're all doing okay. <3 Let's all keep making beautiful things and spreading love.
Current Mood: tiredtired
what a crazy random happenstance
28 May 2016 @ 05:50 pm
I forgot how much I hate listening to recordings of my own voice. I made myself listen to the Todaydreambelievers Glee podcast I did and OMG that is NOT how I usually sound like I DO NOT ALWAYS SOUND LIKE I HAVE A COLD and I also don't always sound like a complete moron and okay yes the accent is real, I do have a horrible German accent. Good thing I signed up for like three more of those, haha. I am looking forward to recording them, but HOLY CRAP what is my voice. But I don't get many chances to *speak* English so YAY I'm not going to pass up this opportunity!

On a less awkward topic, I hope you're all having a good weekend!
Current Mood: amusedamused
what a crazy random happenstance
26 May 2016 @ 02:23 pm
writing. My side characters are trying to take over the story. I can't pin down my two main characters at all - I'm not quite sure why. But this is annoying. Especially since I'm almost 20k into the story. Another 30-40k and I should have finished the first draft. And I still don't really know who they are. I have four side characters who I can see quite clearly in my mind. But the two main characters - nope.

writing II. I'm considering signing up for the Check, Please! Big Bang. Somebody talk me out of this. But it's only 10k and I love big bangs and IT'S ONLY 10K and oh who am I kidding of course I'm signing up. Maybe.

reading. How soon after finishing a book series is too soon to reread? I mean, I am a rereader. I reread things. But I still have a massive TBR pile to get through and ugh idk HOW SOON IS TOO SOON.

and also. Do you ever remember really old arguments and still get inexplicably angry because YOU WERE RIGHT DAMMIT.
. . . I need a cup of coffee.

Also I can't believe it's only Thursday. How much longer until the weekend???
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Current Mood: busybusy
what a crazy random happenstance
12 May 2016 @ 07:06 pm
Today can fuck off and die in a fire.
Current Mood: cynicalcynical
what a crazy random happenstance
10 May 2016 @ 10:10 pm
I found a really old fic in my drafts folder; a bounty hunter AU I never finished apparently. It's already over 30k and I'm really thinking about finishing it. Here's an excerpt because it's actually not as bad as I thought and I was kind of amused by this.

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Idk man, I really kind of do want to finish this stupid thing, but there are still some pretty big gaps in the plot. Also I suck at writing crime stuff. I'd have to find a brainstorming buddy. But I'm really really tempted to actually work on this again.
Current Mood: amusedamused
what a crazy random happenstance
Sometimes I wish Tumblr had a way to turn off Likes for specific posts. Or that there was a "Bookmark" button and a "Like" button.

I don't want Likes on my fic. I seriously just don't want them. What the fuck does a Like tell me? NOTHING, that's what. Did you Like it because you're saving it for later? Did you Like it because you thought it was good? But not quite good enough to reblog?

Idk man. Tumblr is moving so fucking fast, people who create things kind of rely on reblogs for their stuff to get it seen at all. If nobody reblogs, things just get lost in the flood of posts. And especially for writers and artists who spent hours/days/weeks/months working on their stuff, that can really suck.

And yeah, this has been brought on by my last fic getting barely any reblogs other than my own. Doesn't make it any less true.

I know I haven't always been very good about reblogging either. I also sometimes put stuff in my Likes to read later and then I don't have time to go back to it until much, much later. But maybe that's a thing to work on.

No idea why I'm even posting this to LJ. Completely wrong platform. I know. I just kind of need to think out loud here and get out some of my frustration at the same time.

Okay, time to go be frustrated somewhere else. I'm ready for this week to be over, honestly.
Current Mood: annoyedannoyed
what a crazy random happenstance
16 April 2016 @ 10:06 pm
I'm working on an actual post with actual Things to talk about, but right now Things are still kind of weird so in the meantime some happy things because we all need those:

1.) Klaine people: check out this shiny new fic blog! There's gonna be old fic and new fic and you can become a member and reblog WHATEVER YOU WANT YAY (well, not whatever - I mean, it's a Klaine fic blog, so maybe no crochet patterns and/or beer tasting reviews), and there are gonna be events and challenges and it's gonna be fun.

2.) Everyone: if you're not reading this webcomic (Check, Please!) you're doing it wrong because it's the most adorable thing EVER and I did not even want to get sucked into a new fandom but here I am having SO MANY FEELINGS and basically it's the Best Thing Ever and a source for much happiness that has significantly brightened the past days for me.

I hope you're all having a good weekend and I'm hugging all of your faces and I'm gonna be around more again soon-ish, I promise! <3